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A Collection of seasonal art of all mediums and genres, and from artists of all ages and talents from well seasoned experts to beginners.
Artist's Comments
An accompaniment to my productions project "psychological portrait" [link] I compiled a book of observations entitled "portrait of a psychopath" transcriptions of actual events and interactions with my oldest sister. I was inspired by that episode of the Simpsons when Lisa does the same to Bart. Anyway, in presenting my project my prof had some comments:
"... you said all of this is true right? Do we need to have a talk later?" and asked why I went to the trouble of doing extra work, "the photo itself is fine, great on its own. Do you have a lot of time on your hands?" to which I laughed and said maybe. My prof totally outed me as a spinster in front of my peers. Still, I had the last laugh when I got my marks back and the print I handed in got an A, which was then crossed out with a note that said "with book" and an elevated grade of A+. HA! And so, for your reading pleasure, the following is the text from that book: I verify that the contents of this record are true and accurate. Entirely true. Figure A subject name: Katherine Martin aka "kitty" age: 28 height: 5' 9'' occupation: painter Date: Saturday December 15th, 2006 Time: Night Place: Living Room 9:37 subject puts on 2005 film White Noise. 9:39 subject decides that when she hears white noise, in the movie White Noise, she will hit me. 9:50 it is called WHITE NOISE. 10:00 believe I am now adverse to white noise. Both film and actual noise. 10:10 retreat to room. Date: Tuesday December 18th, 2006 Time: Afternoon Place: Living Room 4:30 subject is cutting her hair while watching Dr. Phil 4:56 hair left strewn on couch. 4:57 retire to room. Date: Tuesday December 27th, 2006 Time: Night Place: Living Room 12:00 subject leaves for New York. will have brief interlude in observation record. Date: Thursday December 28th, 2006 Time: Afternoon Place: Bedroom 4:34 learn Nathan Fillion stars in White Noise II: The Light. 4:36 am torn between love of Fillion and abject terror at possibility of further beatings. 4:39 consider reporting subject for human rights violations. Date: Sunday December 31st, 2006 Time: Midnightish Place: Living Room 11:55 Subject's boyfriend calls from New York asks to speak to subject, 11:56 remind him that subject is supposed to be with him, freak out at possibility that subject is dead in ditch. 11:57 subject is heard laughing in background. 11:58 wish subject was dead in ditch. Date: Monday January 8th, 2007 Time: Early Morning Place: Bedroom 5:00 subject begins loudly washing dishes. 5:10 am split between desire to see clean kitchen and need for sleep before school. 5:20 father joins subject in conversation outside my bedroom door. 5:22 yell loudly at subject and father someofushavetosleepthankyouverymuch. 5:25 subject resumes cleaning. Date: Saturday January 13th, 2007 Time: Evening Place: Living Room 7:36 in fight over remote control, subject mimicked duck using her hand, pinching my arm with her "beak" while loudly quacking. 7:39 incapacitated "duck" 7:41 "turtle" avenges duck's death 7:42 am bleeding. have disinfected arm. 7:56 violence escalates, subject bites my shin. 7:57 am forced to place subject in headlock, pushing subject face down on floor 7:58 with freehand, tickle subject's ribs while hysterically yelling "ticky ticky ticky!" 8:09 she BIT MY SHIN. 8:20 after subject's repeated attempts to revive the "duck", have restrained subject. 8:30 am free to watch movies in peace. Date: Wednesday January 17th, 2007 Time: Afternoon Place: Kitchen 5:13 arrived home to find that subject has eaten all my Triscuit Thin Crisps (tm) 5:14 subject reacted to confrontation with shame and avoidance. 5:15 Am uncertain what to do with remaining cheese. 5:16 soymilk also gone. Date: Saturday January 20th, 2007 Time: Afternoon Place: Kitchen 3:00 subject finishes last of chocolate soymilk. Shows no signs of remorse. 3:10 father appears not to have heard complaint. 3:11 cannot trust father. Date: Sunday January 21st, 2007 Time: Afternoon Place: Living Room 4:30 come home to discover apartment in shambles. 4:31 shamblier than before. 4:32 observe newspaper and plastic strewn about floor. 4:33 Inquire as to what the subject is doing. 4:34 response: "building a rocket ship" 4:36 subject appears to be, indeed, building a rocket ship. 4:38 retreat to room. slowly. Date: Monday January 22nd, 2007 Time: Early Morning Place: Bedroom 2:19 subject enters room without knocking, waking me, worriedly yells "I think Starbuck's a CYLON!" and leaves. Date: Tuesday January 23rd, 2007 Time: Early Morning Place: Bedroom 3:28 subject enters room, waking me, worriedly whispers "I think they're going to kill Starbuck...". leaves. Date: Tuesday January 23rd, 2007 Time: Evening Place: Shoppers Drug Mart 7:45 during errand outing, subject sets off every christmas music- playing dancing bears in seasonal aisle. 7:46 flee to housewares aisle. 7:48 am discovered by subject who describes plans to make another sweep of the bears. 7:49 engage in stare-down with subject. 7:50 staredown ends in simultaneous public spanking with yells of "No!" and "YES!Bears!" respectively. 7:55 in checkout, subject slips away and activates dancing bears. 7:56 run away. Date: Wednesday January 24th, 2007 Time: Evening Place: Father's Room 6:17 subject engaged in intense conversation with father, conversation halts when I enter room. 6:18 believe something is afoot. Date: Thursday January 25th, 2007 Time: Afternoon Place: Kitchen 5:20 Triscuit Thin Crisps gone. 5:22 crumbs on subject's shirt. 5:24 box in father's room. conspiracy? Date: Thursday Feb 01, 2007 Time: Night Place: Living Room 9:57 subject asks to borrow my vintage old lady handbag and my reddest lipstick. 9:58 and my large sunglasses 9:59 and my stuffed bear. Bob. 10:00 inquire as to purpose of these items 10:01 response: I’m picking up [boyfriend] from the airport. Date: Saturday February 3rd, 2007 Time: Afternoon Place: Kitchen 5:27 have been careless. subject discovers record of behaviour 5:28 father shakes head in amused disapproval, suggests reality show called "Henny vs. Penny" 5:29 consider profits potential for such a venture. 5:29 subject is heard to say: I don't care, it's all true, I'm an attention whore, I don't care if it's good or bad, your whole class is going to talk about me! I GIVE YOUR LIFE MEANING! 5:30 hit subject with serving spoon. Based on the subject’s knowledge of observation this record can no longer be scientific, therefore I am forced to end it prematurely. Perhaps what I have recorded here will aid psychologists in future research on the behaviour patterns of the deranged. notes productions project equipment: minolta srt 100 35mm + sigma 60-200mm lens + fisheye adapter + metz flash unit shot: f11 1/125 fuji superia 100iso hand printed: 8x8 f8 @ 11s (+3s burn) y 100 m 81 |
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Comments
I give you an A+ as well.
That was great.
Loved it, agree with the A+
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"We are here to create, not merely to survive"
It's not just us! (me and my sister) Other people do it too!
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Can I borrow your toes?
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[ dA Site | Gallery ]
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~ Why can't Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical Socket be friends? ~
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MY NAME IS AMIE
HEAR ME ROAR; <3
___p/s. stumbling skyward
can we fake it?
can we make it.
"7:45 during errand outing, subject
sets off every Christmas music-
playing dancing bears in seasonal
aisle."
YES. My toy of choice was the motion sensing 12" Flick from Bugs Life. It was designed to be used by child as security device. Alerting them to nosy siblings. However when activated on mass in shopping center toy isle becomes a motion sensing gauntlet of demonic chanting.
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"This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff." the Dr.
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